“Idris: Are all people like this?
The Doctor: Like what?
Idris: So much bigger on the inside?”
“Why do we have to go to your company’s stupid holiday party?
Because it’s important to me.
Yah, but they don’t even like me anyway.
Maybe it’s because you can only talk about sci-fi, hon. Not everyone likes to have in-depth conversations about the golden era of science fiction.
It’s technically the Golden Age…”
Geek as a label is something that’s re-claimed from a bygone generation when it used to be an insult. It also doesn’t just apply to the stereotypical sci-fi nerd, movie buff, or mathlete. One can be a geek about coffee roasts; political theory; or even sports. In some ways, it applies to any special interest someone has that turns the knob of knowledge past 11.
Being a geek sometimes means that you get to feel the pure joy of discovering a new person who shares your interest. It’s that feeling when your cheeks hurt from smiling so big all day at a convention. Or the elation of sharing something you’ve created related to the interest (fan fic; research paper; cosplay; etc.). However, it can also mean being ostracized from a group because of your intensity. Sometimes, you might be unsure of how to relate to others. Very rarely it can impede in your day-to-day functioning because you don’t want to turn the faucet of hyperfocus off!
Common Themes for Geeks
Geeks are passionate. Something led you to discover a topic or community that you dove headfirst into. Before you knew it, it developed into your very sense of self. When people ask “tell me a little about yourself” you automatically think of your geeky interest. Your sense of competence in the subject fills an important need. You might feel protective of the culture; space; or knowledge related to it.
Often, people go to you to talk about the nerdy thing that you are so into. This can feel really good! On the flip side, people can start to tune you out if you talk about it for too long or too much. Maybe you’ve even had some bullying experiences or relational trauma in your past related to your passion. It can make you feel isolated when you talk to others who aren’t in your community.
How Can I Help?
In therapy, we’ll embrace your geekiness. First of all, we can explore meaning making through your sense of identity and competence regarding your geekdom. Second, heal through any negative relational experiences related to your specific interest. Third of all, we can use your fandom to explore and understand who you are or what you’re going through (by way of metaphors in session, etc.).
If you’re interested in connecting, you can e-mail me here.